The dark clouds are still clouds When I think about it, they look like me, uh-huh A bitter smile is still a smile Because I live in a world where there’s nothing to laugh about, uh-huh I’ve always thought of myself as an intellectual. A wise, woke person. Maybe i am, in some cases. But […]
I still remember the first time I saw you. Your presence managed to light up the entire room and not just me, but the whole room was enamoured with you. Maybe a part of me fell in love with you at the first sight because I don’t think it would be possible for me to forget such dazzling eyes which captivated my every dream.
It became a privilege of mine to become a part of your life. You could have chosen anyone but you choose me. A normal, boring person. Slowly, we became friends and later became best friends. We were inseparable. For you, I was your best friend. A person whom you trusted with your secrets, who made you laugh and cheered you up on the bad days. For me, you were my whole world. The person I love secretly,
It was not like I was afraid of rejection, but rather than not being a part of your life. I never expected you to love me. I didn’t see any reason that you should. I never thought myself very lovable. I was honoured enough to love you. Who said that if I loved you then you should love me back? If ever you returned my feelings, it should be your own choice.
Time passed. My love for you grew with the years. I saw you fall in love with someone who was not me. Helped you choose what to wear for the first date. Saw the way your eyes shined on seeing the person I desperately wanted to be. I had been the one who bought you ice cream and held you while you cried after your heart got broken. I knew you were hurting. But it was hurting me too. To not be able to give you the happiness you deserved. I wished and prayed where I could love you and be cherished. But I would never force you into doing that.
After months of gathering courage, I finally decided to reveal my love for you. But fate had other plans. You finally had found the love of your life. And I was the first person whom you would tell.
I had been a part of yout life for which I was always grateful. I had seen you grow up and see you become the person you are today. Been there on the darkest days. Shared the silliest of laughs. There is not a single moment that I would ever want to change. But if I ever had a choice to go back I time, maybe I would have told you my feelings. Would have gathered that single second of bravery and laid out my heart for you. For upon doing that, I would not have the consistent feeling of regret. Maybe, I could have been your happy ending.
What scares me that fact that I do not know if I could ever stop loving you. I know it will take time. It might take a week, a month or even years. The feeling I have for you would lessen for sure, but a teeny tiny bit of me will always love you.
Once when I was reading Harry Potter, I felt conflicted regarding the unrequited love of Professor Snape, Now, I could finally understood why Severus Snape was so bitter. He too had loved Lilly enough and never had she loved him back. He had to watch her getting married to James. But in a way, maybe, Snape was also to be blamed partially, for he never had confessed his feelings to Lilly. I, too was like Snape and I there are many people out there who would relate to me.
So this is a letter to my lover, who wasn’t even mine. And to the ones reading this, do not make the same mistake as I have done. For you never know when the cupid might hit.